The very first thing that I noticed when I started to read this were the many grammatical errors. Normally if it's just a few, I wouldn't mind. However, there are enough errors that I had a hard time staying focused on the story itself. The grammar could use quite a bit of improvement. With that said... I do like the Author's creativity with the story. It's definitely something I'm not used to reading, but I would still encourage new readers to give the story a shot.