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very nice story,i love it from the very beginning of the chapters,I'll  continue reading it every update chapters
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5 5314Everything fine but the characters and the stories development along with consistency in its narratives. The author ignores past statements and sometimes make things harder or easier on mc by ignoring past statements, abilities, and passive effects along with many others.The writing quality is fine but to people like me I would advise to ignore this novel, the inconsistency gets really annoying. Tbh, I don’t even know how I read all the current chapters, I’d usually would have drop something like this first 2-5 chapters... must be because of how rare Vr original novels are..
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This story has a great premise! This book for real broke all expectations I had for it. Keep up the good work and this story will go places. 10/10 for sure!
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Since there is only one chapter, this review could mean nothing and should be taken with a grain of salt as I too, am just an a m a t e u r writer.First off, I don't understand who is narrating and what person (2/nd and 3/rd) the story is being told in. The starting paragraph doesn't really captivate the reader too much, and it shows a lack of effort put into it. (What I'm saying is — it sounds like the story is beginning with someone just telling the story at a dinner table or something. Grammar is alright and nothing that's unreadable or anything, so that's nice. I however, can't get a picture in my head of what I'm witnessing here. There are no descriptions of anyone basically, and no real location I can imagine. Yes, he was in a bar, but where is he now? The street? The bar? The bathroom? I don't know. This is a comedy, as clearly labeled by the author. And there is a lot of cussing. So if you like curse words and immaturity this might be a very well read for you. (Not my cup of tea personally) I'm also not very used to seeing names followed by a ":" and then they talk. It makes the dialogue bland and lacks emphasis. The story has potential if it's consistent and appeals to a certain audience other than myself. Once again, I personally don't read Harem/Comedy/System, so this review can mean nothing to you. It's just some of my thoughts with an unbiased rating. Keep writing and improving! Cuz that's what writing is about!
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Great book very fun to read,...................Tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
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Xyrus POV
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"Well..... that's where you come in, I need to go to Nigeria".
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Dusk: Ooo? Seems your a little more "resistant" to this power then I thought
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After walking for about 15 min I found a blazeken resting next to a tree. Walking up to him I gently tapped him and asked him to stop harming the combee in the area.
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So much to do, so much to see
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It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

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