Maybe because of my current condition now that I feel kinda addicted to playing The siMan. The siMan is a game where I could simulate a human life. I can make the siMan, that's the way to call the character created inside the game by the way, to become the perfect version of myself that I always dreamed of. I can chase any kind of dream no matter how impossible it is. I could command the siMan to do anything and they will definitely abide, different from my own complex brain which wanted to but don't wanna do.