AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY READ FIRST CHAPTER???????I see 16 people voting 5 stars, and that made me think, "oh this must be an intressting novel". And I am now writing a review after reading 1 chapter. And usually I dont do that. But holy cow! I am so confused! Help me anyone who actually read or still reading this novel!The following notes are taking from the running text. The reason i number them all up liks this is because the very first chapter is CONFUSING. You want to captivate your writer not confuse them. All the notes below are taking from your running-text ( no paragraph divisioning )1.When Beta was only 2 years old, he was already made to help dissect corpses. One year later, on his third birthday, he was called into an unknown room. ( Beta is now forced as a 3 year old child to fight a death match against Gamma)2. "Gamma wins. Leave the room to the left side."3. "Your opponent got your eyes (Betas eyes), and you got his. Your eyes were better than his, so that's what he won in that battle."4. "The thought of suddenly having someone else's eyes in his head shocked him greatly(Betas Point of view). Even worse is the fact that he'd lose even more parts of his body almost made him go insane. "5. Beta leaves the room after being revived, and his father says = "He's an incredible child. Beta is much more intelligent than the other kids so far. I truly wonder how he will turn out to be. We should prepare more samples for him to fight against. If he simply beats everyone to death the moment he meets them, we won't get our desired result." WHAT? - Pretty sure Beta were the one WHO DIED?6. The next day his father called him so he walked along the corridor, surprised that the door to the martial arts training field is still there. As soon as he arrived in his father's room he started looking around. He saw nothing but the table that he wakes up on once he dies, but this time with an addition. There's a person on the table. He looked at his father inquiringly. -"Beta, today you will learn about the art of changing your body. You will take this boys arms and take them as yours. One step at a time of course. We'll start with the left arm today so get ready to first cut his and then yours off."WHAT - Writer you are already completely writing something else.9. "The time has finally come, he has to cut off his arm." this here is a weird sentence. -WHat do you mean the time has finally come? after 1 week? even though Beta is the only one who died? Whos arm is he cutting?Writer. feel free to hate and comment my text. But my advice is, sit down, revise your own text before you post your chapter. Or ask a friend who is good at english and read your text. This is just for your own good. Because real english plublishers will ask an editor to rework your text.
