Great story really! Though I have a few major flaws to point out! First is plot development! It's too slow! Like super duper slow. Author created a very big world yet the story development is super slow! It would get boring as time goes by since nothing exciting comes up! I dont have that much patience to keep reading about irrelevant minor stuffs.Second is MC's personality. It's Childish! I mean if author wants to make it something funnier with this Childish MC then it's not working, Annoying even.Now for the good parts of the story!First is the uniqueness of the story! You can rarely see an NPC with Ice Magic! Or his dungeon is frozen themed! Always fire, undead, darkness, the usual edgy stuff! His main weapon isnt even a sword! Plus points with that! Second Grammar! There's no noticeable flaws in the writing! One of the many flaws that authors have and never even improve on it! But this! For a first novel you did well! Now! Although you have this good points, the flaws I listed will weigh more on why people stop reading, most people dont have that much of time to be patient.Goodluck!
