Hey Author take this as a constructive criticism and not a diss at your novel, if you genuinely want to become a great novelist.Even if you tried your best to match the Cultivation Online, still you failed to achieve one of the biggest reasons why Yuan( MC of Cultivation Online ) is so damn near perfect MC.It is his character which is absolutely relatable to any normal decent person living in this society.Yuan is someone who has suffered injustice in his life and thus he understands the suffering of others who are in a similar situation to him, i.e they are powerless against injustice.So what does Yuan do once he starts gaining power, he helps those in need whenever he has the strength to do so and does not abandon people who are powerless to come out of their misery.At the same time, he is absolutely brutal towards his enemies and does not spare them or ignore them as soon they cause him any sort of trouble.Also he does all of this without harming his family and friends, him being an OP character, he is able to do all of this.This is what a normal person like me/ a decent person would do if they were to get powerful. This is the reason why many of us connect and feel for the Yuan as a character and root for him whenever he's in trouble. Unlike your Yuan, who expects others to sympathise towards his sufferings and unfairness and then he proceeds to ignore others sufferings when he himself comes into power.We will not be heartless and abandon people especially when we have the power to help them.In chapter 10 of your novel, you see that your MC looks around the poor condition of the town he lives in and then mocks at the suggestion of his system, when the system suggests him to help the needy people of the town, by saying that he's not a hero who is interested in helping people who are suffering unjustly.The literal irony of your MC is that in the beginning of the novel, you were trying to depict how unfair life has been for your MC and he deserves better, thus you have him a plot armour, where the MC after his unjust death received a second chance and so many upgrades from a very powerful being.Now, tell me author, why should I as a reader feel any sympathy towards this MC, when he is an absolute heartless Hypocrite, who laughs at others suffering and simultaneously cries out, when he himself suffers injustice??If you still don't get my point then, I am sure that you'll never be able to create a masterpiece as Cultivation Online.
