Evil God System - Reviews

for the mean time it's good I dunno what would happen for the next chapters but if they keep with the same pace then I think this would be very interesting, I'm fond for MC and FMC I hope they won't ruin their characters

well somebody tell me it's just me or story is really going fast and also mc is the op type. don't know what  to say or to not well whatever hope story gonna be interesting in upcoming chapters

Positive points: Your grammar is good and the sounds of objects breaking or even the sound of the clock is an interesting point in your narrative form.Negative points: The chapters are very short; The story is very fast; It's lack consistency in the narration; The main character, so far, has no depth and no interesting personality; his friendship with Dimitri is strange; and Mr. Golden must die (yes, I hate characters who are mysterious to cause suffering in MC).General Rating: You should pay more attention to the consistency of your story, for example, in the first and second chapter in which you present the main character is not satisfactory, the main character is an empty person, very unreal, being very difficult as a reader identify with this type of character. And the conversation between MC and Mr. Golden is annoying and unreal, I wanted to kill MC in that moment.From what I understand, you're creating a story where MC is an innocent fool to become a powerful and ruthless "man."However, I thought you could work more on the personality of the MC before training, showing a little of your day-to-day and prolonging the training time a bit more. In this case as you have already published the chapters, I make a suggestion, put flash back on the past of the MC, as he was an innocent fool or a fool easily fooled, also help some flash backs training, like a scavenger hunt or even an enemy made in this prison.Another point is that you should better develop the world of your history, for there is nothing to be able to identify in what year the story goes, what are the political powers of this world, what kind of firepower does this The world has, what the geography of the world today ... That kind of thing.I know it's your first story, but I was honest because when I wrote my first story I had no review that put these types of reviews for me, so the story became so chaotic and terrible that I deleted all chapters to reform this story someday.Do not be angry with me for the Review, I'm just being honest, you can even disregard my opinion if you want.

"Yeah, I wonder why,"

"Kid, I am sorry if I startled you, it was not my intention, but of what ghosts are you talking about?" The figure asked him in a gentle voice, the shepherd was confused as to why would a ghost ask about other ghosts, but that was until he noticed, that the figure was not silver and transluscent as the orc, it's armor was grey and covered in dust, and it was clearly breathing. "You, you are not a ghost sir?".

Biyaheng Divisoria ang daan namin papunta sa school. Malungkot man isipin pero talamak sa nakawan ng cellphone ang lugar na iyon.

Huang Jun meridians were vigourios and filled with strength, his qi was already semi-solid even through his orb was small it had unlimited potential.

"The Rise of Younes: From Poverty to Power" is a captivating tale that draws readers into the life of a young Moroccan orphan with dreams that far exceed his circumstances. The novel begins by immersing us in Younes’s challenging life in Casablanca, skillfully highlighting the struggles of poverty while igniting hope through the protagonist's unyielding spirit.The author masterfully develops Younes’s character, presenting him as a relatable figure whose resilience and determination resonate with readers. The introduction of the mysterious stranger and the enchanted coin serves as a pivotal moment in the story, setting the stage for Younes's transformative journey. This moment creates an air of intrigue and establishes the central theme of the novel: the quest for greatness against all odds.As the narrative unfolds, Younes encounters various challenges that test his courage and intelligence, making the story both thrilling and inspirational. The incorporation of fantastical elements, such as the enchanted amulet and the trials in the Realm of Trials, adds depth to the plot, creating a rich and imaginative world that keeps readers engaged.One of the novel's strengths is its exploration of profound themes—self-discovery, resilience, and the courage to confront one’s fears. Younes’s journey is not just about seeking wealth; it is a quest for identity and purpose. The author skillfully intertwines moments of introspection with action, allowing readers to connect with Younes on a deeper level.The pacing of the story is well-balanced, transitioning seamlessly between moments of tension and reflection. The dialogues are engaging, adding authenticity to the characters and their interactions. Additionally, the vivid descriptions of the settings, from the bustling streets of Casablanca to the enchanting forest, paint a rich picture that enhances the reader’s immersion in Younes’s world.However, some readers may find certain plot points predictable, especially if they are familiar with classic hero’s journey narratives. Nonetheless, the execution of these tropes is done with a fresh perspective, making it enjoyable for both young adults and older audiences alike.Overall, "The Rise of Younes: From Poverty to Power" is a compelling read that combines adventure, fantasy, and a heartfelt exploration of the human spirit. The story leaves readers inspired and hopeful, reminding us that our circumstances do not define us; rather, it is our choices and actions that shape our destinies. I eagerly await the next chapters in Younes’s journey, eager to see how he will navigate the challenges ahead and what treasures await him both literally and metaphorically.

The background of the story is pretty interesting, I didn't expect that. It change from the usual novel with basic background so it's quite refreshing to say the least.The writing is pretty good and easy to understand. The grammar is probably the sole problem but it's something that you improve overtime so that's okay.Anyway good job author :).

I can't say much about the stability of updates since there are only 2 chapters, but the writing quality is decent it has its own feel to it then I also can't say much for this story development also the character design is one of the best and I hope to figured out what this white void is. I will do another review, at the 50 chapters mark

very well written book so far main character is overpowered but in a nicely tamed way that doesn't make to story drag or feel underwhelming. looking forward to seeing where this story leads