I know it’s a bit early on to give a review so I’m giving it a medium review which I hope is ok don’t want to be harsh love seeing fellow new writers but I see myself so much of myself in your writing style and personal wanted to give you something to be able to reflect on and some motivation to write I will read your story and I will be waiting to see if you to continue I have also commented on your chapters as well saying similar things but i wish to repeat in more detail.
Good things
1.You have the idea always important
2.you have ok grammar could use a little improvement but that’s fine we’re not professional writers
Things you could improve
1.Context matters build up a description of your character, new family, new world, compare
2.cultivation isn’t everything as I feel a problem all novels especially young one who set themselves these massive cultivation realms with fancy words is they often have no meaning to a reader there just word so try and help the audience gain insight on what they mean and how strong each realm is don’t go into to much detail
3.personally don’t like first person too much and I think you would find it easier to write in the 3rd (my opinion lol)
Please continue to write I will read!!!
Shameless promotion time
Checkout blind saint as I’m currently writing it it’s not great but I think you might be good for you to read a style of writing that’s the opposite of your own
Not bad..pace abit slow and no other exceptional cheats
Another trash author trash, garbage copy paste novel. Just by looking at synopsis you can know that it's copy from "I such an expert why do i have to take in disciples" and other clichés
One of the better slice of life mmorpg titles out there. Although there is not much to judge yet I am finding this to be refreshing and well written. Kudos to the author keep it up!
I couldn't even complete three chapters The MC complains like an idiot Don't make a mistake, he really is an idiot.................................................
This isn't my work but I'm just posting it for other people to read. I'm just letting the novel catch up to all the current chapters slowly. Maybe 5 or 6 chapter releases a day. If I'm in a good mood, I'll probably releases twice that number. I like these kind of novels so if someone knows anything similar to this or Super Gene then let me know in replies or posts
Hello, I am hoping to create a platform for authors and would love for you to join. There is a 70% compensation for authors from all revenue and a contest at my webpage(My username), along with a discord at the bottom of the webpage. I hope to see you there!
This is the 1st competitive sport book I've read, and I assure you it's the best!
You should really try it out! 5 stars! Why not?
great, ,,, ,, ,,, ,,, ,, ,,,,,, ,, ,, ,, ,,,,,,, ,, ,,, ,, ,, ,,,, ,, ,, ,, ,, ,, ,,,, ,, ,, ,,, ,,,,,,, ,, ,,,,, ,, ,, ,, ,,, ,,,,,,,, ,,,,, ,
I dont know what story this continuation from.
Heck. Doesn't even botter explain in description. Fck...................... ... .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . ..
Story
Okay, I have read this for the first time and I have to say, not the best, not the worst.
The english is functional, there are mistakes but not enough to kill someone. I'd say they are mostly the result of a lack or knowledge about english or it not being the authors first language.
The updates seem to be reasonable from what I can see in the table of contents, no problem there.
The movement of the story can be a quick at times but for the most part it's well paced. 5/5 on that, good job.
Character design is interesting, and I'm sure it'll get better as we spend more time around them. Some characters though they might come off as annoying could be redeemed with enough work and development.
Not much to say about world design. It's a got some good ideas behind it and has the potential to go above and beyond.
All in all, good stuff, keep up the good work.
Requested by Murphy.