Banana ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I'm only slightly biased because I'm a fan of the author, but I like the novel so far ???????????????????????????
So I know the author is extremely sensitive in hearing negative reviews, but I have to be honest. As much as the premise does to serve the fans with things they (including myself) would like (such as VRMMO concepts, Romance, Strong powers etc.) It has a very important issue of execution. From the first chapter, I can quote what others have been saying which boils down to it "being all over the place". It tells us what is going on rather than showing, but in a very loose method. It does not keep a focus and ultimately, becomes uncomfortable to read. Each chapter should have a purpose. The *flow* and *transitioning* of each sentence and paragraph should be strong and easy to follow through. What I would advise is for the author to look at *how* other authors write their books. Yes, I say "how" becasue I feel that the writing style needs to change. It can get exhausting, especially if a lot of chapters have been completed. Let's say you learned a lot from other books and finally came up with a better style – it'd take a long time to fix all of it. I understand. However, if that's the case I would get an editor to help you out. There's plenty of authors who would do that in the discord for Webnovel/RoyalRoad. For other works, I'd analyze how Sword Art Online, Rising of the Shield Hero or Library of Heaven's Path wrote their chapters and their style of conveying their messages to their audience. Plot wise, make sure when writing a scene to imagine how the readers will feel about that scene when comparing it to the *previous chapters*. For example, if the main cast fought and won against a guild of people but then suffers against several weaker hunters later on, there should be a reason *why* they are struggling in the very least, or else it will leave them confused. Overall, great job with nearly 3 million views and good luck with the rest! ??
The Writing Quality is only just so-so worth 3 stars, fortunately, it was still readable. As for other aspects, it could be said great, the story is outstanding the character design is also good, world background is also complete.Other than that, this book could be said a rough gem, if the translation can be corrected then this book could be said A Gem.
This was actually really terrible.....Very disappointed, it could've been executed a lot better...................
I'm a big fan of I Have a Mansion in the Post-apocalyptic World, I Found A Planet and Scholar’s Advanced Technological System. So I was quite excited to read this novel because I thought it would be in the same vein. As the story progress, I realize this story is absolute crap. The translation is excellent and the English flows smoothly but they couldn't save the abysmal quality of the plot and character designs. The mc is endowed with a system from a parallel universe with technology hundred thousand years more advanced than Earth and yet the mc decides the best use of the system is to be a street thug, a gamer and then a bodyguard - it was at that moment I decided to drop it. The story is not worth reading. There are much better novels out there, especially the ones I listed at the beginning of the post.
Reading few the first batch of chapters was rather delightful.Theo has a great sense of pacing and character, and it really comes out in how his MC interacts with the people around him.There's a great sense of realism in how the MC thinks and responds, and overall I feel this story is a solid start that will blossom into something amazing.That said, there are some noticeable errors in writing that can be easily fixed with an editing pass or two, and I feel like more can be done to distinguish the settings, especially where the games occur.Solid 4.6 for now.
Its good story,please keep up ur spirit don't stop,don't listen negative coment i like the story so far,also thanks for free reading,mm...can i ask about mature adult scene in heaven plane...hehehe.
Read this story on wattpad and I liked it. Although it had a different title there, still a good story. A slow but interesting start and could build to something great.
Anybody that compares this to My house of horrors or Lord of mysteries truly has a screw loose. Plus this is so low standard I can't even. The novel also has a veryyy shallow view on female characters as we are reminded very often in fact all time, that's all what they exist for really in this novel and that's not even all of it.
it is fanatastic BUT writer should more frequently
where to start? xenophobic the author is on the extreme side of xenophobia againt other countries and cultures and against fantasy creatures and you can see that he gets a lot of xenophobic comments and he makes fun of the people saying it thinking he's not xenophobic.I've read so much and I wish I didn't the world of buildings such a good concept and that's all it will ever be the author butchered it he has no idea what makes a fantasy novel good he just spits on it constantly like all the fantasy has wronged him irl in horrible waysCHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. it's non existent. main character buildjng is only the first couple chapter then he's a cold xenophobic killing machine his main character is xenophobic how is there not more reviews of that? side characters. they have names besides that not much else most notable is long dragon his name has changed he had a good amount of character dev then it was dropped. his girl friends are many and no sustenance one was mentioned who author was playing as having a big role on mc and I can not rember anything about her at all nothing. the sister can be considered not to be in the story she plays no part except saying the wrath mc would have if anything happened to her.just don't read it it's not worth money and especially not your time I really wish it was better I had such high hopes and just constant let downs sorry for any grammar mistakes