NathanHuyghemIy
Persephone nodded with a small frown, "Let me take you over to our history section." She turned and started down the aisle, "You should also learn more about our laws. Its all in the same area."
"I wish for my identity to be concealed. I feel like it would only interfere in my studies." I looked in my father's eye and saw confusion.
He showed me his elements and at that time I too became excited on what mine would be.
entering the boss chamber, i saw him lazily laying on his bed, I couldn't help myself smiling.
Thx
A man with blond hair wearing glasses came down from a red Bugatti Chiron. He looked at the building and smiled before walking inside.
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thanks for the nice time your giving us nice work ?? ?? ??.keep going ? ? ?
It 's a decent read. Lots of content available. World building felt pretty solid and fleshed out. Story is developing and has potential. Most of the characters are well written. My main issue is with the MC. It's like he gets the most story time but the least emotional development of all of the characters. Many chapters in, and he is still very much an out-of-touch teenager that struggles with his insecurities. His sense of justice is very skewed and relatively confusing. The moral dilemmas that he's faced has NOT given him much maturity at all. It's also a tough read when he struggles as he is not a graceful struggler (compared to say Adonis). He feels and remains overall toxic and emotionally stunted. The otherworlders in Adonis' group, in comparison, feel more relatable and dynamic. They grow from their experiences and it shows in their dialogue and actions. When I read their sections, it feels like I'm reading about young adults, not teenagers. This basically results in a static MC that has become increasingly difficulty to root for after hundreds of chapters. As this novel leans into tropes, it's pretty ironic as well that MC (as the OP Extra) feels more like a puppet vs his enigmatic rival (who feels like he should be the Extra)... Just my opinions. Thank you to the Author for giving me content to consume and hopefully my mind gets changed in the future chapters.
Hi! This is Ada, an editor of the international Suspense/Thriller Writing Contest I. I see great potential in your book, but your book is so underrated here. Thus, I invited you to join the contest a week ago. Please reply to me. Let’s discuss in detail.
pregnant after both of them losing their virginity? not impossible, but she showed signs in less then 12 hours? stupid! he got over Gaia's death way too easily to have actual seemed like he cared for her. so may loop holes in logic that I could never enjoy this novel myself
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