I like how Daren is being more of a reasonable person than Marceus. I have qualms about using mockery as an encouragement. Marceus! You can encourage people without teasing and degrading their person! Poor Daren. Evlin is such a savage! I can see why you have her as your favourite. Please give me more Lilith interactions!I've read the entirety of the updates and some concepts still confuse me for some reason, like the origin of beasts and spirits, or did I just miss them? Also, the consistent change of characters in focus is quite distracting. I suggest that you dwell on a particular group for an extended window before moving on to the next. The action scenes are quite abrupt, so it lessens the excitement. You do not need to use such complex words to relay an action; you just have to narrate to the readers what you're seeing in your mind as honestly as possible.I don't think that your grammar is that bad. Although, I have noticed overuse, misuse, and absence of punctuations in several passages. Punctuations are like the backbone of grammar. It allows the writers the opportunity to have better transitions. It is our job as writers to study te very grammar aids in out story-telling, and we are always learning. In addition to this, instead of using just adjectives, can you elaborate more on your descriptions? The readers would like to see the vividness of your imagination! :D I did not say anything out of spite. I hope that you take them as constructive. I'll be cheering you one! Your story has a great setting and there will definitely be readers who will love this utterly.
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Love it!!! Compared to most romance novels on this site, this story is much more mundane, in a good way. The MC an FL are not super arrogant, fithy rich supermodels that exist just to face slap all antagonists in existance. No, this is a warmhearted story about pure, innocent, adorable young man that experiances love for the first time. As it happens, the young woman he fancies just happens to be a reincarnated lady, making her full of mature allure in a youthful body. Super cute story! Cant wait to read more!
Overall 3.3The title, synopsis, system and cover are pretty much all lies. I don’t see clicking to level up or get points. The system is the default except it can level up with points. MC doesn’t use the system much to jam in background and characters. It is not easygoing, etc to read. It’s dry expository, like reading a diary of someone’s life.Writing 3.5Rounded up to 4. Seriously though, why with the sentence fragments, especially when describing the uncle?Updating 5It says 18/week. Quality beats quantity. Slow down and read over your writing. If you feel nothing, or it doesn’t have any moments that stick out, you need to fix that.Story 1When there is a system, especially when hyped up this much, readers expect it to lead the MC’s decisions. Since the premise is flawed and the system is both shafted and underwhelming, you get nothing.Characters 3.5Rounded up to 4. MC is shown to be mature but puts his golden finger second to his ongoing day, as if anyone getting a second chance wouldn’t try exploiting or even exploring their system in the spare moments they have. Too many people looking down on MC for my taste. There aren’t enough normal people to interact with, and MC is lowkey despite his previous ambitions of grandeur.Background 3.5Rounded up to 4. Moments get slowed down because passages must be dedicated to descriptions. The pacing can be improved if descriptions are more dynamic and concurrent instead of the static and stale showcasing there is now.
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Do writer get money is author of the novel get enough money.
Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good. Overall, it's pretty good.
This is the best book I've ever read. From writing quality to story development to character design and development to world background, everything down to the minute details are perfect. If I had the chance to forget reading this, I would so I could read it again and feel the same feeling I felt. Honestly, this felt like I was watching an anime series, every chapter left me wanting more and more. The world background/building is comparable to Shadow Slave which has one of the best world background/building in fiction. All in all, this book, no this MASTERPIECE is DEFINITELY worth reading.
Nice story but the ending was ‘bored to death' like. ? I was deeply disappointed. I have been reading this novel for 3 to 4 months now. But I am disappointed by its bad bored ending.
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Good writing quality. Frequent updates, pretty much daily. Story development, checked! Character Design, seems good so far. World Background, too early to judge. Keep up the good work.
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