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I couldn't get over the grammar ? I'm sorry author. I also don't like the use of japanese address in the book, it feels weird when the characters aren't japanese
I'm currently reading their other book (reincarnation of the strongest sword god) and I'm quite anticipation this...............................................
In the 60 chapters so far in this novel...I can say that the plot is mostly the same as with most novels with weak MC that transported to other dimension/world and went back to Earth after years and then started the journey of revenge, that type of plot..But the problem with this novel is that you get the exact same scene with different girl to be saved or humiliated and a different boy to beaten up, every 3-5 chapters... It's sooo boring.. And the hard part is that most of the narrative used the exact same words used in every situation where the girl ends up regretting being a b*tch and ends up falling in love or attracted to the MC...Godly Stay-at-Home Dad was way much better than this but sadly it got erased from webnovel couldn't even search for it now, it was not completed yet...
**Brutal Mode** EngagedStarting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story..Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend.Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai.Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters.Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?
Hey Webnovelist!Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email [email protected]. We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Dear ultra, I gave you 5 stars for the sake of encouraging you. However, be reminded that no work is perfect and you have a long way to go in terms of storytelling.Although I understand Jack's bewilderment when he was not recorded as a hero, added to the fact that he woke up 1500 years into the future, he's quite an unreasonable character who lets his emotions overtake his rationality. And that is considering that he was a great hero. It's hard for me to believe that he's one when he acts so immaturely. Other than Jack, no other characters stood out to me since they have no unique propensities that would make me remember them. Perhaps I'm being picky, but that's the actuality when I was reading the book. Perhaps it's because it was not elucidated properly, the world setting and the magic/levelling up system is quite hazy. I do know that you can level up by killing another living creature. Though, that dismisses some laws governed by nature. Instead of encouraging one to level up, the levelling up system encourages killing to grow strong. Since this is a novel that focuses on action, I would appreciate if the fight scenes are narrated in an extensive way, focusing on muscle/limb/eye movements and the altercation itself. It's quite an evasion on using mere onomatopoeias in narrating rather than actual movements. The exposition is quite lacking, if I may say. You often use adjective in describing things. Utilize the wonders of prose. Adeptly use figures of speech. Make the readers read what you're actually seeing in your mind. Also, I have qualms in the changing of POVs. I think it would be alright to stick to one POV, the omniscient one. In that way, you will be able to show Jack's thoughts and what's happening around him. Regarding the grammatical aspects of the story, I've noticed several mistakes. There were a lot of missing/misused punctuation marks leading to run-ons, incorrect verb tenses, absent modifiers, and questionable word choices. Withal, heed my words that these can be proofread really easily. I just pointed them out to let you know that your work could look even more beautiful. Furthermore, divide your condensed paragraphs. It's quite tiring to read such thick passages, and readers tend to skip something like them. Overall, the elements are quite dichotomized. I think you could merge the ideas a little more. Rest assured that you're potential as a writer will still grow. I will be supporting you! [Sorry for leaving such a bad review]
I hope that the author won't drop it this year.
Its a good well plotted novel. Has neat character development as well as personal touches so the reader understands the mc in-depth. The best part is that the MC has a goal but he isn’t being given a golden spoon to achieve it. In by that the A.I. System grows with the MC like a teacher to a student.
It's ok, for naw its just a copy of all novels mmorpg -> going beck in time.For naw(40chp) its 100% plot armor.Mc cash -> his dad is reach.Mc power -> he knows future. Mc status-> he is given fame because he knows future and can gain first clears on achievements (fame converts to his status as a Viscount).Mc lv -> his men will lv him up, or the guards he hired thx to "viscount" status will. For naw there Is nothing that MC did that define him or his personality.There is a lot of status screens(lv, stats, skills) so if you buy a chapters there is a risk of buying a stats sheet.I don't think author should ask for $$$ before he even let us know MC. For naw(40chp) its just world building and its a copy of all other "mc goes beck and know it all".Im droping this nowel since im unwilling to spend $ without knowing what im paying for (1-40 is not worth $).
Fabulous. One of the best novels I've read, it's got details, a world, unique characters, and a good story, it's overall just a great and unique read.The only "not great" parts are firstly the information bombs that were dropped in the first few chapters, explaining how everything in the game worked and so on, which at first seems annoying to read, but you don't have to get stuck on it, as it'll all make sense soon enough, don't drop the novel because of it(as some have). The other "bad" thing about this novel, and the reason why it's score dropped a bit for me is it's inconsistent updates, and rather slow updates.. which is really understandable as he's writing the story, and not translating it I believe, and it's much more work than just reading something and writing it down in a different language. Even so, the author's not to blame, it's just that this novel is so good that it leaves me wanting for more, checking daily until finally a new chapter is out, and so I'm trying to get some recognition for the novel by writing this review.Try it out(you may skip the information bombs about the game workings, you'll not enjoy it any less if you find those troublesome, endure it)
typical cliche novel harem, where the Mc is somewhat perverted and all fall for him, nel there are many of this kind of novel and boreMc Kiss female and saved , are married etc , etc