I hope this gets picked, it's really great and original. I love the premise and the MC's character is great.................................
out of all the books that I have read on this website this is the most grammatically correct book. the writing is just superb the story was awesome the rewards are maybe a little over the top but I can't wait for this book to become at least one or two chapters a day I'm ready for it to be a hundred times the size that it is now 40 chapters
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Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
A young mosquito returned to its mother.How was your flight dear? asked mom.It was great mom, everyone clapped for me. Said the young mosquito.
The synopsis should be = “I barely do something, and get rewarded massively disproportionately it return” or “I’m useless without an overpowering cheat that gives me free stuff”Seems like a waste of time
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While the premise was fairly decent, the writing needs to be changed quite a bit. The character dialogues needs to be in separate sentences sometimes. What you did here just made everything feel cramped and cold to read. I'll take a paragraph from your novel as an example here;----------------------------------------------------------------------------Alright, open the gates. The commander wanted to meet him
Another case of a novel floating on the reviews it got in its infancy. Look at the reviews that rate this novel highly, the flat majority of them are in the first 400 chapters. After that, the novel is just mediocre and bad in some aspects. There is even a review telling you to skip about 200 chapters of the war arch. The other 400 after that is just barely tolerable.Stability of Updates: 5/5. The author drops down a lot of chapters on a consistent basis.Writing Quality: 5/5Story Development: I can't go lower than 1. He writes a lot but a lot of it is just info dumps. The quality suffers heavily when you get to the premium chapters. Each chapter is expensive and 2/3rd of most of his chapters involve info dump of some kind. As a result the story slogs. His grammar is excellent but a beautiful gun is useless if two out of every three bullets gets jammed.However, that's the smallest issue with this novel. This novel is a system novel. But, the author takes the main character to a war zone and leaves the system behind. How can you have a system novel when the system plays no part. He drops the system at around the 250 chapter mark and it doesn't make a significant play until the late 900s. Imagine paying that much for each chapter to get info dumps, slow story development, and no system for 3/4ths of the story. It's a rip off.Word Background: 5/5. The only good thing out of the info dumps is it tells you about the world. It's a tell don't show approach so it's annoying to read but whatever, the world is fleshed out.Character Design: Another 0/5. The main character has no agency in the story. He flies whichever way the wind blows him. You're not living his story. You're watching a guy on a roller coaster of ****. At the end he comes out with very little character growth. The author seems to think war medals gives his MC more character but it's just a medal on the same dude you had at the end of the first 300 chapters. The system is his growth and without it he's not a mech designer. He's just some soldier that happens to know how to fix and make mechs. The story is about designing mechs but the MC stops growing in that aspect just to become a soldier.Lazy Tension: The author does this thing where he describes everything in a grandiose manner. When the MC designs a mech, it sounds and comes across like the most badass thing of its category. However, the author always seems to introduce opponents with mechs that just seem to inch out or flat our destroy our MC. Why describe it in such a grand manner and then make it come out as a dud in competitions? It's such a lazy way to introduce *******. Of course, the MC wins but it comes across as Deus Ex Machinas and plot armor.The amount of money you spend for the value you receive is not worth it.
it's trash. I read this novel in mtlnovel.com couple months back. I liked the start but I dropped it even before reaching chapter 100. although I don't remember why but since it's something I dropped then it must have been trash.
Hello Author. I don't know if you still check this site for comments on your work, but i regularly check it as I really enjoy your writing. As I recall, you were facing financial hardship due to employment so I totally understand why your updates stopped. That said, I hope you return as I was really digging it. Peace