Hey man, I've read the story soo far and although the concepts are not completely new, and a little inspired by Shadow Hack,, but still it's pretty good.. nothing over the top hacks and stable character and story development!
Nothing like the stories coming at this time where MC is completely OP and faces no challenges coz that just takes the fun out of it !!
Looking forward to the story, hope you won't disappoint !!
This story makes Zero sense...1 second Mc is a Idiot in another he is sherlock and the storyis just unrealistic........................................
I love your writing style and the narration of the povs. There are few weird grammars but all in all it was good! I also love the way you describe the surroundings of the mc. Very descriptive and broad.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
First time reading a novel like this. And I have to say i have been enjoying it so far, I wish it would have been better if MC is little bit more smarter as I feel like he isn't using his system to it's full potential. Overall quality is good. looking forward to what's coming next.
oye author why aren't you updating your other novel .if you drop it then just told us you drop it or continue latte on
The system ruins the story. It literally adds nothing, why would you put a system in a romantic novel?!
The idea of side effect is good but the translator or the author did a really bad job, it's all over the place and hard to understand also the mc is sexualy attracted by a little girl ........
I'm writing this review after reading chapter 24, I believe is a chapter that would make various readers drop the novel so this review might help you all to understand why would someone would drop it.Let's go with the facts and then I would give the author a proper critic;-MC: It's has been told to the readers he was a member of Special Ops, if any of you were members of the military or are active members, then you'll find along the story this statement can't be possible. Not only the main character makes poor choices, but his actions in a alien environment without any back up and a system that he doesn't know how it works(nor the author bother explaining and detailing), puts himself in various scenarios a situation that even I, a former corporal of the army, wouldn't make in his situation. Personally I believe that the job of an author is to make a research beforehand in the subject that his work might go around, to prevent this kind of things happening, more so when the author himself is gaining money out of it. It's our job to ensure that we are writing something that does make sense within the boundaries that we stablish. Yet this novel lacks of the aforementioned.-System: The system in this novel doesn't only is almost irrelevant, but counterproductive to the novel itself. You see, it works as the mainly provider for the MC to get his hand at some arsenal, however, I don't know what the author was thinking since the way the system has been presented to the readers is awful. There's no explanation of how it works, details of the weapons and how the character might be able to get them, nor anything. What's worse, the main character itself doesn't bother(or hasn't been show and explain to the reader) to gain knowledge of it and how to use it on his favor, worse yet, it is conveniently overlooked for the author's own choice to be that way, since he could ensure his personal view on how the story should unfold.With these two I believe is enough for any reader to put off from keeping reading this work.Now for the author, the problem with your story is that for the reader, is clear how you wanted to reach certain points of the story, overlooking not only your characters, but world building at that. The flow of the story feels weird and hollow, at every moment I was reading the chapters I felt there was so much for the main character to do and think about before doing what was explain in the story, that I found myself unable to invest in the story completely.The actions and choices made from the MC doesn't make sense from a point of view of someone on his position. Nor does the choices you make willingly as an author for the direction of the story itself. I don't know if the novel improve in later chapters, since I thought it was necessary to make this review based on the first 24 chapters.I don't know what else to say at the moment so I'll leave at that.
Writing quality isn't that great and lots of artificial word count inflation via unnecessary convoluted descriptions and caracter reintroductions at the start of nearly every chapter that sometimes take up as much as 1/4th of the chapter.What also annoyed me a little bit was the use of German names without actually properly researching their meaning. Like poltergeist. The author used it as a name for the telepathy (which is fine by itself) ability and acted like it was obvious what the ability does just from the name. no it wasn't. The defining characteristic of poltergeists is that they never manifest, so they cannot be perceived apart from their activity, not that they throw things around. Direct speech can also be confusing to follow as the author doesn't make it clear who is speaking and just randomly breaks up direct speech into multiple paragraphs even though it's still the same caracter speaking, which makes it seem like it's another caracter talking. I tried to give this book the benefit of the doubt and bought a couple paywalled chapters. The writing didn't get better, and the word padding also didn't stop. It's fine if you don't care about the free chapters as they don't make you any money, but selling people something of this quality for 11 coins per chapter is just straight up insulting your readers.
So far good?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
if that happened to me if be panicking ????????????????????????????????????????????????????