As the hours slowly passed sweat streamed down her cheeks and dropped from her chin as she leaned over out of breath while maintaining her vision on the bunny. In the past seven hours she learned how to make almost no noise as she was finally able to get within ten feet. Aego woke up early as usual and saw the progress he couldn't help but smile at her progress. He cooked a simple breakfast while Luna was eating Aego squatted over with a few stalks of celery a few seconds later the bunny hopped over hesitant at first but it walked up and started to eat the celery. The scene made Luna choke on her breakfast. Aego looked over I didn't give any restrictions. Chugging down some water Luna was still speechless as she watched the bunny eat.
Please update soon. I love this book
'No wonder the Almighty One restricted them from using these skills. It threatens his position as long as Barakiel is able to use this skill.' Aurum thought while changing his direction towards Uriel.
Kyle gave Vincent a questioning look. Vincent continued "She is not a prey. It's more like she is the leader of the coalition which one should challenge and defeat first before earning her respect."
Although Emily wanted to retort on Stigma's late remark on 'lacking certain areas' than know how long had the intruder been standing there. Once Emily heard a familiar name, she started too lessen her vigilance as the identity of the intruder was revealed.
"Next time you can't escape." He whispered seductively by her ear. His hot minty breath with a hint of wine made her blush more once again.
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it good good good good good good good good
Revenge is my go to genre, especially when... The main character scores some serious backup and magic way beyond what they bagged in their past life. I mean, who hasn't daydreamed about that in the same boat? At least we can let it all out through fictional characters, right?Long live King Arryn!
Hey Author take this as a constructive criticism and not a diss at your novel, if you genuinely want to become a great novelist.Even if you tried your best to match the Cultivation Online, still you failed to achieve one of the biggest reasons why Yuan( MC of Cultivation Online ) is so damn near perfect MC.It is his character which is absolutely relatable to any normal decent person living in this society.Yuan is someone who has suffered injustice in his life and thus he understands the suffering of others who are in a similar situation to him, i.e they are powerless against injustice.So what does Yuan do once he starts gaining power, he helps those in need whenever he has the strength to do so and does not abandon people who are powerless to come out of their misery.At the same time, he is absolutely brutal towards his enemies and does not spare them or ignore them as soon they cause him any sort of trouble.Also he does all of this without harming his family and friends, him being an OP character, he is able to do all of this.This is what a normal person like me/ a decent person would do if they were to get powerful. This is the reason why many of us connect and feel for the Yuan as a character and root for him whenever he's in trouble. Unlike your Yuan, who expects others to sympathise towards his sufferings and unfairness and then he proceeds to ignore others sufferings when he himself comes into power.We will not be heartless and abandon people especially when we have the power to help them.In chapter 10 of your novel, you see that your MC looks around the poor condition of the town he lives in and then mocks at the suggestion of his system, when the system suggests him to help the needy people of the town, by saying that he's not a hero who is interested in helping people who are suffering unjustly.The literal irony of your MC is that in the beginning of the novel, you were trying to depict how unfair life has been for your MC and he deserves better, thus you have him a plot armour, where the MC after his unjust death received a second chance and so many upgrades from a very powerful being.Now, tell me author, why should I as a reader feel any sympathy towards this MC, when he is an absolute heartless Hypocrite, who laughs at others suffering and simultaneously cries out, when he himself suffers injustice??If you still don't get my point then, I am sure that you'll never be able to create a masterpiece as Cultivation Online.
Man I love this story but the way you write, it's just too uptight, I mean who talk to an enemy with that level of elegance, it's like you are writing a play for opera or something, and there is that sentence that comes again and again "thrilled to explore this new world and experience everything it has to offer." this sentence is almost every chapter before c85 and sometimes it is more than one time in a chapter, and there is this sentence or line that you right in every new paragraph "there heart filled with anticipation and thriller for what to come" I mean come on man don't be so uptight. And don't try too much. The story is good and has way more potential than what you are presenting and please if possible change that uptight writing style. I hope this novel will become one of the best on the platform.
This is good cultivation novel. I like the idea that the mc is the first cultivator and he slowly explore the cultivation path and his own self.