There is no nice way to put this: This writer is barely literate. They have no idea how to write a complete sentence, let alone a complete thought. It was nigh impossible to understand just the first paragraph of the story. Please, people, I beg of you: You do not have to "publish" your story just because you wrote it. Learn how to write first. Keep writing and keep reading--really, I'm encouraging you to keep it up--but you can't honestly expect people to enjoy your story if you write at the level of a 3rd grader.
