The Line of Defense

saying 1000 times don't make lie into truth. grow up kids and author don't worry we know your ability to write ignore these kind of post when we are here , love your work and we readers know how to compair between stories and similarities between them doesn't match and your ml and fl are different

Next chapter???

I’m here again, hoping that we can have a chance to work together and we are willing to pay you for distributing your work.The conditions should be generous. If you are interested, please contact me via this email:adaren06*@*gmail.com(delete *）, then I should take this opportunity to discuss it with you in details.

It fk up he has system shop and he doesn’t even had protection from system >_>

So I know the author is extremely sensitive in hearing negative reviews, but I have to be honest. As much as the premise does to serve the fans with things they (including myself) would like (such as VRMMO concepts, Romance, Strong powers etc.) It has a very important issue of execution. From the first chapter, I can quote what others have been saying which boils down to it "being all over the place". It tells us what is going on rather than showing, but in a very loose method. It does not keep a focus and ultimately, becomes uncomfortable to read. Each chapter should have a purpose. The *flow* and *transitioning* of each sentence and paragraph should be strong and easy to follow through. What I would advise is for the author to look at *how* other authors write their books. Yes, I say "how" becasue I feel that the writing style needs to change. It can get exhausting, especially if a lot of chapters have been completed. Let's say you learned a lot from other books and finally came up with a better style – it'd take a long time to fix all of it. I understand. However, if that's the case I would get an editor to help you out. There's plenty of authors who would do that in the discord for Webnovel/RoyalRoad. For other works, I'd analyze how Sword Art Online, Rising of the Shield Hero or Library of Heaven's Path wrote their chapters and their style of conveying their messages to their audience. Plot wise, make sure when writing a scene to imagine how the readers will feel about that scene when comparing it to the *previous chapters*. For example, if the main cast fought and won against a guild of people but then suffers against several weaker hunters later on, there should be a reason *why* they are struggling in the very least, or else it will leave them confused. Overall, great job with nearly 3 million views and good luck with the rest! ??

This novel reminds me of manga know as king of apocalypse...Mc and sister... blood rain.. otherworlders... stuff like that... sister different type of human...