Primordial God: The Dark Order - Reviews

Armadura De Batalha Do Exercito Freeza  [ $ 3.400] , Atributos : +5 CARISMA ,- 8 Social, +30 Defesa.

"I can't train you," Minato shook his head. "Yoshino-san would skin me if anything happened to you."

Hands: Empty

          "'lots of people were here."  

she could also sense emotions  with her ki  not strong enough to sense mine but strong enough for anybody else on this pathetic planet

As it storm hard with hail, a life was lost when a cup of poison was set on the dinner table. May they have said their blessing, but never knew that it was their last. A jealous friend, backstabbing followers who their leader gave everything just so they can live in no harm and a little nine year old boy who's being torture.

Not only that but his sister once even kicked him in the legs! Although it didn't really hurt. All it really did was made him yelp, trip and allow them to sit on top of him.

[Of course. Even you yourself know that right. I mean just one finger would have been able to take care of thousands of slimes at my peak.]

"Where-Where is he!?" asked a fishmen.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

"Benci"

Though there are minor problems such as repeated use of words and some slightly confusing sentences it is overall readable. The story is good, and the characters are simplistic but real. I wouldn't pack the words like a big essay paragraph, so I think it would be a great improvement if you fix the text formatting! Good luck fellow Author!