love in Moon's Shadow - Reviews

Frisk sat up and took the Fallen Human's hand was helped to their own feet before they glanced around, looking at the buttercups which surrounded them. The very flowers which the human had eaten and was killed by in order to get through the barrier with Asriel, even though they themselves could have gone on their own. That concept kind of confused the human a bit. Why combine? Shrugging to themselves without speaking verbally about it, they looked on toward towards the door the would have to pass through. They'd keep hold of the Fallen human's hand, not exactly wanting to let go for the time being.

Aya: Hm... I never considered that. I think I'll try something simple like a Fire Ball justu..

OMG I finally found something worth spending time on...this scares and intrigues me...will Haelyn really survive this? why does everyone seem to have a problem with my poor Haelyn??

Although It’s good, if you release a few more chapters, it might become interesting enough for a lot of people to read. There is one major problem with this: The POV’s, you said there from chapter 6th onward, that there would only be first person view, but the next two chapters are literally 3rd person again?But if you fix this and do all the chapters in first person, it’ll be great.I feel like the writting start’s to get a lot better at chapter 10, so keep reading till that. But it got potential, I’ll say that.Good read?. Author just don’t fuck it up.