It's a story with a lot of boring, meaningless, unnecessary monologues. My friend, decide first whether you are writing a poem or a story. This desire for poetic expression is like salt; if you add a little too much, it makes the food inedible. There's also some past life nonsense that breaks the immersion. The character died and was reborn, the event is over, why are you prolonging it? The reason for reading such stories is the person's desire to escape from reality. But you are spoiling the fun of those who want to forget reality even for a moment, don't do this. These are my recommendations, the subject is good, but unnecessary details and whining harm the story.
