Well...I don't know what to say other than this story is a grammatical nightmare. It's just...sigh. The premise is beautiful and I guess you can ignore the errors if you like it enough but...well. You really should work on your pronouns in particular. Just to clarify, for a woman is used /she/ and for a male /he/. Always. No exchange between the two can occour. Not only that, you also fill the chapters with unneeded info, throwing up facts left and right, making it a boring read. Is the reason why I only gave you 3 stars for world background. It's not that you did not develop it, it's just that...you didn't really fit it very well in the story. You should try to integrate your info more with the flow of the story, revealing smaller bits in more points. There is no need to dump everything on the readers at once, it only stops the flow and few people will read those added parts anyway (like i did) which is a pity.
Aside from those points it's a beautiful story, I liked it. You probably should just think more about editing your chapters rather than postin them quicker, really.
Anyway, I hope I didn't offend you with my comments and that instead they could be of some help to improve your writing style.
