DRASTICALLY IMPROVE THE GRAMMAR. The story plot is pretty good and the starting od the book is interesting too, but the language needs to be improved if you want to have fun reading this book. Otherwise, you'll probably spend more time understanding the book.
It was starting out okay until you I noticed you have to pay at chapter 9 ? what a joke, how can you expect people to pay before you can even get a good idea of the story is gonna be good or not.
it's not too bad but a lot of the time I feel it's really cliche and moves too fast. Also when he crafts things nothing interesting happens it's kinda like "First this then this then that finally this" and it gets pretty repetitive and boring
I have no problem with the story quality. It is interesting for me and I can see the passion of the writer. My advice are to not overly use commas in one sentence. Maybe lessen them by making it to another sentence. I also want to suggest to change your dialogues into this "You are amazing," He said in a low voice. (if it was an active convo) but use "You are amazing." He said in a low voice. (If it is the end of convo). Well, good luck! Your novel will reach its success as I see the potential! Kudos! ? peace ✌️ I don't want to be critical though......Have a nice day!
