Nice start for a story. It gets intense every time ?. Especially, Daniel, he is shown as serious and broken at the same time. If you add more scenes about his last maybe it will give more inside about what made him like this. Anyhow, the story is amazing looking forward to reading more about it.
[Overall review, not specific]Lovely, and well done. I personally think it is well-paced and has beautiful character- and world-building. It's pretty descriptive though so I could see how it would turn someone off.
I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it ! I like it !
Hmmmmm.. are you so fed up by Shameless Bai that you created your own Number 1 Under Heaven xDSPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACE
