so like me, you also write using the first pov narrative... but this style is only meant for story with a nuance of comedy or to be exact, the English words should be casual and entertaining because the one that is speaking is the characters, not the author. Too much description is also a no no to this style.. why? because if you tell a story yourself, you won't yap about everything you saw right? However the content is interesting,, keep it up!!
