Reborn in a Harry Potter Universe - Reviews

Blake chuckled and held Blake's hands in his hand and kissed him deeply.

?I like the concept of dual cultivation, and how strong Xiao Feng is. The writing quality is relatively good, and not something you expect from a first timer?My problem lies with how short the chapters are, and the subtitle that appear during chapters, it ruins the spoiler factor, idk, maybe it's me.

Generally speaking, a better grasp on English vocabulary and speech would make a good addition to the dialogue writing. The characters have good descriptions and the world building is on point with the plot progression but I feel that the narrative itself could use a little nudge based on the actions the characters are taking. Also, the advice you may have read about 'Show - not - Tell' has better interpretations. Show the actions from the perspective/ thoughts of the character in action rather than telling a description of the situation in which the actions are taking place, there is no fault in the descriptions but a central/dedicated theme allows for more instruments to join the music. Ciao!