• Writing quality ? 3*There’s room for development. The writing looks too superficial and not deep at all. I can’t seem the be hooked by the story. The writing style is more descriptive than narrative. • Story development ? 3*A good directive line but with lot of inadequacies, doesn’t feel like how people normally react and behave in those described contexts and situations. A lot of surprising developments but the bad kind of surprises, or maybe very badly written. We don’t feel a sense of flow. The events feels rushed and not finished, we pass from one to another without a sense of cohesiveness. • Character Design ? 1*The author want so badly the MC to be calculative, smart, funny or intelligent. But it’s gross, disgusting and totally the opposite. There’s no consistency in his personality and so his actions. Sometime he’s dumb or smart, calculative or emotional. We expect here one reaction but it’s totally the opposite. I don’t understand this MC, I can’t identify myself in him. I’m not that dumb and incoherent as a person. • World Background ? 3*There’s so much potential in that world background but the author completely messed it. He don’t seems to use that potential. The quality of story messed up the background. I want to know more about that world but not how the author brings it to us.Overall, a big disappointment. It could have gone so much better. I don’t know the author, his experience and age. But it looks very very immature. Sorry ?
