Grey Scale

OK, the story concept is actually quite decent, though execution is very bad.  Yes the grammar is bad though it looks like steps have been taken in the early chapters to make it decent.  Then comes the items that are being sold, as well as how things are being bought and sold.A pawn shop buys and sells goods to and from customers.  I have seen one instance where he buys from the customer or more like sells an item for collateral.Needed changes:  Grammar correction is going to be first for most readers, but not for me here.  It is needed but for the most part the story is readable.Buy and sell.  He should be buying various raw materials with his 'limited' funds.  He is selling for spirit stones, yet going around buying herbs at shops for gold and such.  This is a function he should be doing in his shop.  Buying from gatherers who go out looking for resources.  As for gold, even if the 'system' does not allow his products to to sold for gold, he should be stocking gold coins to buy certain raw materials.  Breakthrough pill concept.  It should be a pill that is used when a cultivator is having difficulty making that final push to the next level.  In the cultivation stories there are several types, one the protection pill that protects the cultivator in case of failure, another that reduces the resistance to the breakthrough, and the third would be called a level-up pill that pushes the cultivator's level up by 1 or so unconditionally.  The so called breakthrough pill should be described as being the pill that allows a stuck cultivator to advance.  Where in the story it seems like the breakthrough pill is actually a level-up pill.  Level-up pills should be much more expensive, have strong side effects, or have extreme restrictions.  Only can use 1 in lifetime is a common restriction.I recommend the author look for constancy errors.  I am personally irritated by both consistency problems as well as conceptual issues.  Add a system subspace for resources bought.  He can pay the seller more that he would receive elsewhere yet pay less than buying at another store as he is eliminating one of the markups.The characters seem to be rather generic without much of a personality.    You have the so called young master template, then there is the standard fairly reasonable characters who come in and are his customers.  They seem to mostly be revised young masters both male and female.  Now this makes sense as the background is that nearly all spirit stones are in the hands of the upper class families 'noble, royal, ect..' who monopolize their use.  Once again a poor design choice for setting.  We are reading a story in a cultivation world where everyone can cultivate to some degree. The pills in the shop are extremely overpriced based on their effects when put in the setting that has been created.

Wow, cool story. The fantasy also arrived, making readers like me carried away with an interesting storyline. Go straight to my collection, continue bro!

The description gives me ORV(Omniscient Reader Viewpoint) vibes, which I really like and find the constellations' reactions funny. And I have a feeling this will be a great read.

I like the way it was written, like a seasoned author would. Thumb up!

Hey there, author here! So, I am going to rate my own story and leave this review for those who might get interested in giving it a try after reding through the synopsis. Also, please, if you are liking this novel leave your review and slowly move your fingers to that little "vote" button (press it!). HUEHUEHUE *evil laugh* - "Thank you! my dear reader!"Writing Quality – First of all, I would like to emphasize that English is not my first language and I have been studying it for five years. So, I might make a few mistakes here and there. However, I am always proofreading and using softwares to improve the writing. Story Development – I don’t think that the story development is going to deviate much from other novels. However, as a reader, I have always been losing myself when an author drifts too apart from a chronological line of events, so I am going to follow as much as possible an established order. I don’t want to write something confusing. Now, talking about the pace of the story, the start is going to be a bit chaotic, due to the situation that the MC finds himself in. However, the future chapters are going to slowly cement a flow. Character Design – I have always loved characters that are rational, self-centered, somewhat arrogant, and confident. Someone who is always planning and thinking how they can get the most of a situation, but still maintains certain values. This is the MC that I am trying to build. As for the other characters, I will be setting them according to the story’s progression. (I don't have but a few important character planned).Updating Stability – Around 2-3 chapters/week. I may exceed that amount if I have enough free time. World Background – It’s a world filled with different species, where all beings can become stronger through Mana. A world that is in the point of “rupture”. I know it’s a common setting, but I will be adding things up as the chapters are updates. However, I plan on doing a good job on that. (I hope)If you have read the synopsis and this review, and liked it, please consider giving this book a try."Also, don't forget to leave your vote and a review if you liked this work" - The author wrote, with hopeful eyes, waiting for your response. - "Thank you!"

At this point, Ning Yin was in the system world with sweet and angelic Lana, who was now comforting the desolate Ning Yin, who was still in shock for being married and having her kiss stolen by her hateful boss!