Esper In Magical World

a very good story with in depth characters,it has a lot of potential but author is not updating fast enough and the chapter length is also not too big

i like 90% of this novel, the bad 10% is story skip,many times the mc is doing 1 thing then suddenly he is in another time and place, or he is doing 1 thing and in the next chapter he is in another time and place, becase of this i really wanted to give this novel a 1 star becase i cant read a novel like this, but since everything else is good about the novel then it wont be fair for the author so i will leave it at 4.4 rating, am dropping this novel but am willing to come back and read again if the author edit his novel from chapter 1 till the latest chapter, removing this story skip,note:there is a difference between time skip and story skip, am fine with time skip as everyone else think its fine,but the author is not doing time skip he is doing story skip

Hello, fellow author. I'm going to give you some constructive criticism.                                                                                                   1: Please show what's happening in the story more.                                                                           •In your story, you tell the reader that the character feels a certain way. Ex: "He felt confident."                                                                                                   Here's an example of showing your protagonist's confidence."He raised his chin high, looked his opponent in the eye, and smirked."                                                                                                 You can increase your word count if you explain each emotion. And your readers can immerse themselves better.                                                                                                 2: Please don't repeat the same information twice In the same chapter.                                        •This disrupts the reader's immersion in the story.                              •I know it helps add word count, but that frustrates readers.                                                                                                 3: Your grammar needs some work. It's hard to immerse yourself in a book if there are many grammatical errors.

Hi,This is Nelly, I am an editor from another platform that focuses on LGBT Fictions. After reading your "Gay Alpha Meets Mate

Absolute Gem ? I really loved the storyline it's very different from other system novel, a change for better. Keep up the good work and please write to the end.

I like it bcuz it football and I hate it when it's about assist. even irl no one care about assist, no matter how beautiful your assist is, you still forgotten by the scorer. what a waste of good novel