Generally speaking, a better grasp on English vocabulary and speech would make a good addition to the dialogue writing. The characters have good descriptions and the world building is on point with the plot progression but I feel that the narrative itself could use a little nudge based on the actions the characters are taking. Also, the advice you may have read about 'Show - not - Tell' has better interpretations. Show the actions from the perspective/ thoughts of the character in action rather than telling a description of the situation in which the actions are taking place, there is no fault in the descriptions but a central/dedicated theme allows for more instruments to join the music. Ciao!
